When asked in high school what I wanted to do when I graduated I had two non-negotiables:
I want to help people.
I want to wear whatever I want. (Thank you thirteen years of private schooling...)
After graduating I spent the better part of 3 years drifting in and out of various degrees, gaining bits of knowledge here and there, collecting some cool friends but never feeling like anything I was meant to be working towards quite fit. In between attending a couple of sporadic lectures, attempting to maintain my mental health became a full time job.
A culmination of wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time events as an 18-19 year old sent me down a vicious spiral. Depression, anxiety and an eating disorder were fighting each other for the drivers seat in my life, and there were months I felt I was not even in the car. In hindsight, I am so grateful.
I'm grateful for the days I couldn't leave the house and found myself mindlessly scrolling astrology memes on instagram.
I'm grateful for the obsessive exercise that lead me to binging podcasts. I'm incredibly grateful for the podcasts I found, and how at my lowest, the universe connected me to inspiring women from all over the world. Speaking of inspiring women, I'm grateful for my mum, who, whenever I would go to visit, would drag me -quite literally kicking and screaming sometimes- with her to yoga classes.
Intuitively, I knew why I hated yoga, and I knew that it was the healing space I needed to be in most. Forcing yourself to be still, silent and present with your body after abuse was so hard, but so necessary. Trauma lives in the body and as hard as I tried to drink her away, hide from her, or burn her off like calories she demanded to be felt, seen and validated before she could move on.
I mention this because it was the accumulation of pain and healing modalities that lead me here. I remember very clearly the day I fell involve with astrology. In the middle of one of my incredibly long walks along the coast I had a panic attack on the beach. Once I got my breath back, wanting something different typed in 'Yoga Podcast' and the first thing that came up was a conversation between a yogi and an astrologer. I went home obsessed, researching all the planets and houses and signs, going up to my partner at the time and telling him out of the blue that he needed to go to visit the ocean every day to make up for the lack of water in his chart.
I researched and researched and researched, I bought the books, watched videos and listened to more podcasts. I took notes and pestered all my friends for their birth times. The language of the stars is a language my soul has always been familiar with, for the first time in my adult life I could sit still and learn with a total sense of ease. Interpreting the energy of the cosmos came naturally to me.
My love and dedication to astrology got me through all the painful transitions of young adult life. Every time I felt my heart break I fell deeper into the cosmos and deeper into my souls calling.
The stars brought me back home to myself. The more I fell in love with the planets the more I found love for myself and for every one around me. Every single one of us is an individual microcosm of the entire universe... and that is amazing.
In the last 6 months I've invested in courses and mentors, I've paid for my own readings and have given away more of my time and energy for free than I would like to admit.
The only thing the stars ask from us is that we live in our truth. As terrified as I feel to be putting myself into this space, I know that if I wait until I feel 100% ready... it's never going to happen. While I'm never going to stop researching and learning, it's time for me to share from where I am. To guide beautiful souls home, through the language of the cosmos is something I am so passionate about -bonus points that 17 year old me would be over the moon that she can help 'people while wearing pretty clothes'. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my journey. If anything has stood out for you or you have any questions, I would love to connect with you via instagram: @cosmos.via.gabrielle or email: cosmos.via.gabrielle@gmail.com. Until next time,
Gabrielle xx
✨ You are made out of stardust ✨