Welcome back to another episode of: Gabrielle goes on some weird grammatically incorrect rant and then somehow ties it into astrology. Yes. Yay. Love that for me. So Jupiter is retrograding (As I have mentioned before) and what that can largely mean is we’re being asked to reflect and respond to Jupiter themes. This kind of means our luck, our joy, our confidence and sense of personal power is kind of under the microscope. In the next few days Jupiter will be back into Aquarius and hanging out in the same sign as Saturn again (the planet of personal responsibility and deadlines. -While they won’t be close enough together to call a conjunction, they’re still hanging out in the same sign and thus, sharing some energy.
So... here’s the thing right… I have A Thing that I need to do.
(As the title would suggest. Gabrielle... Well done babe. No clickbait here. An accurately titling queen.) You know when you really, really need to do something… and this Thing is good for you. You always either enjoy it or feel better afterwards but for some reason you just can’t get yourself to do it? That’s where I’m at. Now these things come up from time to time don’t they? It’s like, the more you procrastinate the more the niggling voice gets louder and more stressful and makes you procrastinate more. To the point that looking at my desk made me anxious so it is now a clothes table. It makes sense that the retrograde is really challenging my confidence in myself to do this simple thing. Which leads me onto this next point… if I’m feeling resistance to doing The Thing, are you also feeling resistance to doing The Thing?
So, what’s your thing that you’ve got to do that you’ve been putting off and making a big deal when it really isn’t? Have you got a bill to pay? Someone you need to reply to? Have you drunk enough water today? Have you sent those clothes back? Have you had that hard conversation with your mum or that guy that you’ve been avoiding? Have you washed your sheets?
It’s ok. You haven’t and that’s chill. Neither have I. So. Here’s what I’m thinking:
Why don’t you and I ✨Do the Thing✨ together?
Now, step one to doing the thing: Ask yourself, am I going to do the thing today?
Practice non-judgement and non-attachment to the answer. Breathe into your body and what actually feels right.
If the answer is no let the answer be no and just get super present and enjoy whatever it is you want to do instead. The Thing can wait. If the answer is yes… also great. Step two to do the thing: Relax, take the thing off the pedestal.
Try to tune into what the resistance to doing The Thing actually is.
In my experience resistance comes from:
1. The thing is out of your comfort zone. 2. You’re too attached to the outcome of the thing.
3. Fear of failure or not being perfect.
1. Now this is really important if you’ve identified that the resistance is coming because The Thing is out of your comfort zone. Is it resistance or is it a NO?
Resistance is uncomfortable yet doable, think the leg press machine at the gym, resistance is when you can feel your muscles working but you can push the weight. Your body might be saying “Um this feels weird I’m not used to this.” but you ultimately know you can do it. A full body No is overriding everything your body is telling you in favour of pushing yourself to breaking point. People break their legs on the leg press machine by incorrectly pushing weight that they’re not ready for.
Your nervous system is the same. You need to train your nervous system out of your comfort zone, but overriding your body's Full Body No’s is a huge form of self disrespect that creates trauma and distrust between you and your body.
Think of your body as a little kid at the park, if they’re holding your hand looking at the slide with nervous curiosity you might encourage them to climb up and try it, supporting them and understanding that the slide is out of their comfort zone so there’s a natural apprehension over something they are interested in exploring.
If the little kid is screaming and in tears, clinging onto you and hiding from the slide… you’re not going to pick them up and throw them on the slide. You’re going to tell them it’s ok and move onto something they feel more safe around.
If your brain is screaming at you that doing the thing is unsafe, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THE THING. Go and self sooth. Your nervous system is shocked and if you need to make a cup of tea and get into bed and rewatch your favourite episodes of Friends for a couple of hours just go and do that. You are important, you are loved. I am proud of you.
Now if the thing just truly is at the edge of your comfort zone go write down 5 times you ventured out of your comfort zone and were met with reward.
Put on something that gives you 5% more confidence (your favourite song/outfit/a bit of lipstick) and go and do the thing -no more thinking about it-. Plan a reward for afterwards. Train your body to feel safe getting a bit out of your comfort zone. 2. You’re too attached to the outcome of The Thing, this kind of overlaps with fear of not being perfect, but this one is where I’m at. If you’re here too it’s time for us to really flex our self worth muscles and remember that The Thing is not that important.
Even if you never did The Thing this world would still be spinning tomorrow.
The Thing is not you.
Stop identifying with The Thing.
Go write down 5 specific truths that will not change no matter the outcome of the thing: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Did you get yours? Feel free to share, here are mine:
The people in my life (I prefer to list them but for the sake of privacy their names can stay in my journal <3) who love me are going to love me the same amount no matter the outcome of The Thing.
I will laugh until my stomach hurts again very soon.
I get to visit the ocean today and that always makes me happy.
I have great boobs.
While my heart is a part of what I’m creating I’m making content people feel soul connected to.
Once we can realise that there are so many more silly, important, frivolous, joy-filled things in your life than The Thing. The Thing becomes less scary. 3. Fear of failure or not being perfect.
I’m in on this one too… but here’s our choice. Fear or Love baby?
Now (I counted) and there’s about a bazillion cliches, “You gotta be in it to win it” “Risk it for the biscuit” “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”, “If you don’t try you never know.” We hear it all the time and then at one stage it just rings true. Funnily enough I remember the second it clicked over in my brain that I would rather take the risk and fail than not try at all I was with a guy (ooh la la). He was telling me a story about something in his life that hadn’t worked out the way he wanted it to and my immediate response was to tell him I was sorry that he hadn’t got what he wanted. He looked at me and was like “What? No. That’s not the point. The point is I can look back and know that I tried. I’m not going to wake up one day regretting that I didn’t go for what I wanted. I tried, it didn’t work, I tried something else.”
I remember being so triggered when he first said that:
I was so confused and a bit annoyed. I think I accused him of being privileged to be able to make mistakes and rebuild and not everyone can do that. More than that though, I think I was annoyed that I knew he was right and he was saying something that I’d heard a million times... but for the first time ever it actually had meaning.
You’re not actually scared of failing or not being perfect, you’re scared of the stories you’ve attached to failing or not being perfect. As humans we’re programmed for survival. When we follow our hearts it sometimes means risking our ego, risking our sense of physical, social or emotional security.
I remember being at athletics carnivals and teachers saying “Even if you come last you beat all those people who didn’t race.” and in my head being like: “…No? That’s literally not how it works at all.” The thing is though, you’re not scared of coming last. You’re not even scared of being judged for coming last, you’re scared that if you come last you might be judged and if your judged you might lose your social standing and if you lose your social standing you might be ostracised, and then your animal brain is scared that you might not be able to emotionally or physically survive ostracised from your pack. You’re not scared of losing all your money. Your ego is scared that if you lose all your money you will lose the life that you’ve become attached to. You’ll lose your lifestyle, your security, your community and your means of survival.
So identify your big fear around ‘Not doing The Thing Perfectly’ and then put it into a question.
Have you got your question? It might look a bit like this:
“How will I emotionally cope if this doesn’t work?”
Or
“How can I look after myself if I lose money through this”
Or.. something a bit trickier
“How will I cope with the changes if I succeed?”
Anyway, here’s a bit of a cheat code we can all use:
“I can do it, because I’ve done it before.”
Go look back on all the things you came out the other side of. The heartbreaks, the bad choices, the betrayals, the loss... and then look at The Thing. Does it look that scary now?
I’m so proud of you. You have gotten through so much. Whether or not you do The Thing today does not matter because you’re already done so much.
And here’s the other thing about The Thing… There’s always Another Thing. No matter how much you screw this up, you always get another opportunity to do better. If you have the time to be sitting here and reading this rambly ass blog, The Thing you have to do is clearly not a life and death situation. It’s not a one shot and you're out kind of Thing. So just breathe. If it’s giving you that much anxiety just give yourself full permission not to do it. (Funny thing happens when you give yourself permission not to do it… thank me later ;).) If you’re so worried about screwing it up just try, and then get feedback. Remove your ego from The Thing. Who you are is so complex and intricate, seriously... how well you execute The Thing is simply not a reflection of your worth. I guarantee the worst case scenario… You just try again later. Now my beautiful butterflies. Tune into your body what do you feel called to do… no pressure either way. If you feel ready to do the thing, go and do the thing… If not, go for a walk, call a friend… go enjoy your life… The Thing is not that important. All my love,
Always,
Gabrielle xx