“Trust the timing of your life” Full moon conjunct Saturn in Aquarius: I put up a little poll on my instagram the other day asking the community what their experience was with feeling like they were ‘on time’ for life. Everyone who responded to the poll said that they often feel like they aren’t on time. Every. Person. Saturn is currently in Aquarius so any beauties with a lot of fixed energy (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) may be feeling this extra lately, . This is due to the pressurising planet of restriction making funny angles with your personal energies. If you’re feeling this, you’re so supported, I understand. Saturn has been sitting right on my ascendant all year (and isn’t moving on any time soon), lately and I’ve been feeling extra pressure and restriction on how I’m showing up, how I’m being received and the woman I’m stepping into... also shout out to any strong Earth placement people… you guys feel like this all the time and I don’t know how you do it.
Now, introducing The Full Moon in Aquarius, really illuminating Tension between our responsibility to the collective and our own needs. It’s like we’re being so hard on ourselves for not being quick enough, good enough, showing up enough to fulfill our responsibilities and get to ‘where we are meant to’ in life.
Intuition, innovation, community, what we can kind of do to benefit the collective is being illuminated by the moon full in Aquarius, opposed by the sun in Leo which is the archetype of self, of finding joy in the right now. It’s this tension between going forward with our purpose or slowing down to find the joy in the right now.
It’s the tension between showing up in this world to fulfill our adult responsibilities or to nurture our inner child.
Full moons are a time of reflection. A time where emotions are brought to the surface and we can clear things away to invite the new. The archetype of Aquarius is all about The Collective… It’s as if we’re being invited to reflect and clear away any belief systems and traumas that don’t serve us anymore, regarding friendships, community, responsibilities and higher calling.
This full moon is particularly tense because it’s hanging out with Saturn, the Planet of Tension. We may need to lean more into our joy. To take a step back and look at how far we’ve come. The sun moving into Leo is a reminder to learn to trust and enjoy the process.
If we go right back to the beginning of the year, I remember trying to get a lizard out of the house and the lizard was freaking out… making the whole situation so much harder. I remember being like “Lizard, my dude if you would just chill I’m actually trying to help you here”, but the lizard couldn’t understand that, all the Lizard could see was that moment where he was being stripped from his current situation.
If the Lizard had just trusted me, he would have realised sooner that everything was happening for his greatest good (getting outside) in the long run.
And I realised that I was doing exactly the same thing. I was not trusting the timing of my life at all. While I had realised that I was ready for a life that was more than I was living, I was resisting and trying so hard to hold onto the people and situations that weren’t good for me. I was freaking out like the lizard when situations were changing (in alignment with my growth) because I couldn't see the big picture. All I could see was that people were leaving, I was trying and nothing was working… blah, blah, blah
6 months later after letting go of the people and situations that I was so attached to I can stop and be like “oh, I get it now.” So, tuning back into the reflective element of the full moon. Something I never think about anymore has resurfaced in the last couple of days. It’s related to my sense of community and when I first started to see cracks amongst my identity amongst my peers and my individual ego. It’s also related to trusting the timing of your life and realising that sometimes growth needs to be uncomfortable. So. High School… Early high school, I loved it, I was well received, I had heaps of friends, I got by with bare minimum effort and laughed everyday. Flash forward to the end of high school and I was miserable. I was lonely and anxious everyday, I felt really uncomfortable in most situations with my year group. I had some really close soul friends who still to this day I love with all my heart, but if one of them was away I would be so on edge for the entire day.
-Obviously high school is a weird time and I needed to learn how to let things go-
As much as I hated it at the time, I know now that I was just a little lizard running around scared because I couldn’t see the big picture. All of the events that made me feel so isolated, sad and anxious happened because if I didn’t have a huge push to run away and reinvent myself after finishing school I would have probably stayed on the comfortable path that wasn’t right for me. I wouldn’t have moved cities and fallen so crack-your-soul-open in love. I wouldn’t have had the space to face my traumas. I wouldn’t have met the soul friends I have and I probably wouldn't have the freedom to be here right now. My experiences would have been different and I really don’t know where I would be. I probably would have stayed trapped and isolated, like a little lizard in a house, where all my lizard friends are outside. So allow yourself to reflect on any traumas and unhelpful beliefs resurfacing regarding your relationship to your community, and your place within the timeline of your life, to make peace in this full moon is to find the common factor in the Aquarius/Leo Axis. The commonality is radical expression. Give yourself full permission to be exactly where you are right now… and then tune in to what you really need. Do you need to step into your Aquarian power and say no, this is wrong and I need to make changes? Or do you need to breathe, and tune into your Leo and try to find moments of joy in the chaos, holding yourself in the uncertainty, trusting that everything will work out if you let it.
When it comes to feeling like we’re “not on time” for life, it really comes down to the Leo Aquarius axis.
Are you judging yourself for where you’re at in your life because you’re comparing yourself to other people?
In which case stop it. We are not robots and all our life paths look so different.
Or... are you aware that you’re not staying true to yourself, your own needs and desires in this lifetime and you’re holding yourself back from what feels like the true next step for you?
In which case, explore that, trust yourself and trust the big picture.
You’re worthy of everything you desire.